Hope in the midst of Despair

We have had a very mild winter in Colorado this year. The mild temperatures have been nice. Our heating bill has been almost affordable! The mild days have been a joy, and it has been nice to avoid the days of being stuck at home because of the snow.

Unfortunately, the fantastic winter has created a new problem going forward. As I look out over our pastures, all is brown and dry. The blowing winds add to the fire danger. If we don't get some moisture, it will be a challenge to feed the horses come summer. Without snow or rain, the grass will not grow adequately enough to provide the nourishment they need. Not only will I have to buy hay, but also, the price of hay will be high.

One of my favorite things about Colorado has been the spring times. In the fall, everything turns brown. Then we have winter, mixed with sunshine and snow. In the spring, we get the rains or snow storms, that move through rapidly. (March is actually our heaviest snow fall month.) After the moisture, the world comes to life. All that was brown and dead looking, is suddenly green and bright and full of hope. As the world around me springs to life, I can't help but be full of joy and hope myself.

This winter has been so void of moisture that I have been fearful of missing the spring awakening. Just this morning, I was thinking about picking up some sprinklers for watering the grasses and trees near the house. The brown of the fields matched the feelings in my heart.

When I returned home from dropping off the kids this morning, I had to cross the fields to fetch a stubborn horse. The sun was shinning, it was warm, and the winds were calm. Today is a busy day, but I didn't mind too much. (Breaks from all things medical are too rare these days!)

Bob drove me down to the horse, so I only had to walk back up the hill. As I said, it was a great morning for a walk. I needed the excuse to go out and do it!

Catching the horse was easy. He love peppermints, and as soon as he heard the crinkle of the wrapper in my hand, he came right to me and let me put the halter on.

Then we began the hike. From the house, looking down on the pasture, everything looks so brown and bleak. As I walked Shaw, I saw something entirely different. Yeah, the grass was brown, but from my new vantage point, I was able to see the green poking up from the ground.

In spite of the dryness, in spite of the despair, hope is springing up from the ground. When I stood back and looked at the whole pasture, all I saw was the desolation. From up close, however, I saw new growth. I saw the hope that comes with spring.

In life, sometimes we need the eagles view, to see the whole picture. Other times, we need to look more closely, at the smaller accomplishments.

When I look at this week as a whole, I am overwhelmed and discouraged. I need to look at the smaller successes and rejoice.

Simon has made it through the last month with only 1 red blood transfusion. Another one may be coming up soon, but for now, I need to focus on how long he has been able to go without!

Simon has a cold, but it is getting better, and it never did get bad! His white counts are so low that it should have sent him to the hospital!

Bob will probably be back on the road soon, but we have had him home for the past month, when we needed him most!

Warren may be losing his bus come April, but God will show us a way through that too!

One friend reminded me yesterday that "If He leads you to it, He will bring you through it."

Another friend sent me some powerful words from a devotional. "O my child, do not weep, I am doing a beautiful work. Stress and pressure and pain are often the path to victory and understanding. I am in the midst, and I am a strong deliverer. You need not be concerned. Courage is the greatest contribution you can make at this point. To be strong now will make the path of recovery easier. Faith is an essential ingredient in every solution...often it is the solution itself. Never underestimate the power of Faith. Hold fast. Trust. _Unseen angels assist you._ Doors are opening to let you pass into safely"

And as the green grass is peaking up from the ground, I am seeing hope spring up in the midst of despair. I am seeking the courage needed to reach those doors that lead to safety. I am trusting that faith will indeed be the solution, and I am holding fast!

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not me in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul." Psalm 23:1-3a.