Day Plus 217

Today was a good day. Simon's cough is all but gone. The swelling in his feet was absent today, as was his back pain. We were able to enjoy a day out that did not include the hospital. Lunch and a movie sure are more fun than hours at the clinic!

Yesterday, on the way to the clinic, I heard a song on the radio that really spoke to my mother's heart. Last week-end, 19 year old Derek lost his battle. It has been a sad time around here. In August, 8 year old Shoshanna passed away. Her bone marrow transplant was the week after Simon's. She never made it out of the hospital. The kids around here are battling everyday for their lives. Some days, the sadness is overwhelming. Every time a child loses his life, we are reminded of the frailty of life. It could have been my child. My child could be the one we all mourn next.

Back to the song. "All of Me," by Matt Hammitt

"Afraid to love, something that could break,
Could I move on, if you were torn away?
I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart, and pray it makes you whole

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing every fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
Trade the fear of all that I could lose, for every moment I share with you

Heaven broke into this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me."

Wow! It would be so easy to give in to the fear and sadness, but, like the father who wrote this beautiful song, I won't let sadness steal Simon from my arms. He is worth all of my love. Could I move on if he were torn away? He is worth every tear I have shed. He is worth facing every fear. Thanks God. I needed to hear that!