Patience

Patience has never been one of my strengths. I also learned a long time ago not to ask God for patience, because every time I do, He puts me in a situation that requires me to learn patience!

Well, this time I did not ask for it, but I am having to exercise it none the less. Simon finished his atgam treatments on Friday, February 13. Now we wait, and wait, and wait. Twice a week visits to the clinic, and we wait.

Monday's visit was uneventful. Other than tired, Simon was feeling fairly well. His blood count levels were about the same as they had been on Friday. His granulcytes were still high enough that he was able to go to orchestra on Tuesday afternoon. He played a bit on the violin, but mostly just listened and followed along with the music. His arms got tired really fast. I think he just enjoyed being able to be out.

I was able to work for a couple of hours on Thursday, so Bob took Simon in for his check up. Every single count was up! All of his white count areas were actually in the normal range! His red counts had risen also. Though still low, they were going up, inching closer to normal. His platelets were also up, though still lower than the first count when this whole thing started. Normal for the platelets is 140- 440. Simon's have been as low as 7, but now they were back up to 17. Still a long ways to go, but at least heading up.

I was beginning to fill the first glimmers of hope. Perhaps this wasn't going to be quite as difficult as we had anticipated. On Monday, the doctor was encouraging, feeling that Simon had a good chance of this treatment being successful. At Thursday's visit, she told Bob she was "cautiously optimistic." Simon's energy levels were definitely improving also. I wanted to jump up and down and tell the whole world that my son was getting better!

It felt good to walk the halls of the school and be able to honestly reply to the question of how Simon was doing with a positive answer. "Simon is doing well."

Simon did have a few nose bleeds this week, but they have all been minor and easily controlled.

This morning, however, things seem to have slipped back a bit. While the last two days were days of hope as we witnessed Simon's increased energy and received the good news of his blood counts, today has been a day of discouragement. Simon is once again drained of all energy. Getting off the couch has left him exhausted.

His dad has taken him in to get a much needed haircut. I made the appointment yesterday, when he appeared to be doing so well. Today, I almost canceled it. My prayer is that while we took two steps forward, we have only taken one step back. I am reminded that we did not anticipate a speedy recovery, and we need to rejoice in every step forward, regardless of what comes after.

On Thursday evening, a friend took me to an Anita Renfroe concert. It was a much needed break. If you have not heard of her, she is a comedian and the author of the Mom Song, which can be found on youtube. I spent the evening laughing out loud until there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I can't remember the last time I have laughed so hard! I am very thankful for this friend who knew I needed the medicine of laughter so desperately right now.

While most of the evening was spent rolling in laughter, towards the end, Anita talked about the importance of friendship and holding each other up, standing in the gap for one another. The tears that flowed at that point were a combination. Tears of sadness for Simon and all he is going through and his uncertain future, but also tears of gratitude for all the dear friends who have been standing in the gap for Simon and our entire family. After that song, she instructed us to hug the woman next to us and tell her "You will get through this." Those words, spoken by a friend as she embraced me, were so needed. I knew then that I would get through this, because of all those who have been willing to stand in the gap and hold me up.

As I faced today, feeling a bit discouraged, I am reminded that I will indeed get through with the help of all those standing in the gap. And while patience is still not a strength, I am honestly able to give thanks on this day.